mondegar cafe!!!

Mondegar café !!!
Getting out of the taxi millions of thoughts started cluttering my mind .. does she really drink ?? will she like be drunk ?? will I have to carry her like those dates in Hollywood movies ( recently being incorporated in hindi movies too!!) and will we land up in bed tonight … will I be able to handle it ..how much money do I have ?? what the hell I don’t even know the way back home …!!!!
“ do you have 20 bucks change” …..” hmm ya .. ( stupid don’t give her the change pay the taxi fare you ass) hey wait ill pay ( my chivalrous fauji woke up) ….. “nah nah I have already paid don’t bother anyways I got the change” … “ no no ill pay” …. “aare nahi see you are in Bombay now na .. ill treat you in this city” ( wow!! The typical Gemini miser I was maybe waiting for hearing this …but this statement of her s made years back she still keeps her word … she just doesn’t allow me to pay .. either she knows how fauji s are paid or she s a hard core feminist .. anyways I absolutely have no problems with it …) .. mondegar café is on one of the main street s of colaba , one of the see facing front of Mumbai, and is lighted up like a old goa street selling old antiques and imported stuff from the dockyards …its generally flooded with the foreign tourists and street vendors… walking inside mondegar I felt I entered one of the cow boy bar s in texas … the place was full of white skinned people god knows where they came from!!! And the set up seemed to have been picked up from some old cow boy movies with a cane wood furniture .. closely placed tables … a juke box in one end … well i had never entered a place like this in Mumbai … (what the hell where ill get that lonely corner to chat and drink with her) ..before this thought had crossed my mind I found her placing herself on her chair next to the juke box .. the table was almost on one edge of it … (hey I wanted pull he chair for you ya ).. she was really one girl with ‘im in control’ attitude … “ so wat will you have” she pops up… “ well let me see” … “ I guess beer” she says …. ( now she really reads my mind man ) .. “ well ya how about you” … “hmm ill take wine today” ( today ?? what does that mean …. ) .. “so you generally take wine haan” … “nah nah …I like vodka ..lekin aaj ghar bhi jaana hai” ( ok so the going to bed wit her tonight is not happening tonight .. I guess neither the lifting her up thing...) and so my first date starts with a toast of beer and wine … the conversation seemed decent for about first half hour and the till first rotation of drinks took place .. “ so do you smoke”( i actually asked out of curiosity ..as I knew she didn’t)… “ hmm ya only when I drink” ( what!!!!!!! She is awesome man .. where was she all this while man .. I thought its only in movies where people go out on their first date to a beer bar .. drink and smoke together ) well but the catch was I never smoked maybe one odd occasion … “ hmm well I don’t have a cigarette” .. “ well that’s ok they keep it ask the waiter he ll get it” …. So here we are two drinks down …smoking Marlboro lights .. chatting the hell about each and everything we been through .. about girlfriends .. boyfriends .. why into flying … you look good in that pic on orkut and stuff …I know it is pretty normal for many people but it was becoming like a dream date come true!!! Three drinks down and we were all laughing our jaws out .. was I being really funny?? Anyways somehow with every drink the volume of our talk seemed to increase …the waiters or bouncers or whatever they were supposed to be seemed to only observe us ..maybe only me and waiting for the earliest opportunity to throw me out ..i guess they were nt that happy with the pair … anyways I was on cloud 9 .. I was already feeling like hugh grant from ‘notting hill’ dating Julia Roberts or something … I even played ‘leaving on the jet plane’ the john denver version in the juke box which was about a hands distance from where I was sitting ..
It was maybe 4 or 5 drinks down when we walked out of mondegar café ..( man I m not gonna forget this place) .. I was already feeling like a cow boy walking out of this bar … with the girl I may be dreamt of being with … trying to smoke stylishly … and trying not to stumble down while walking .. man I was drunk !!!! “ so where are heading now” I asked … “maybe home” she says … “nah lets take a walk or something na … hey whats that ..is that the taj hotel??” …. “ ya its just walking distance from here” …. “ oh wow that means the gateway of india is nearby haan” ( that sounded so kiddish ) hey lets walk till gateway of india na” … “ for what ? what are we gonna do there” …. “ aare chal na” …. So we start walking towards the greatest tourist spot of mumbai which I guess I had seen a million times but with her it seemed so hopelessly romantic .. maybe I just wanted to spent more time with her now… now gateway of india is one spot which actually represents Mumbai in the statement ‘the city that never sleeps’ as it was 1030 pm and the place was crowded the same way it was on colaba street at 0830 … maybe the entire crowd of mondegar came here for a walk .. or maybe it was a one way and people had to come this way to go further ahead .. anyways approaching the gateway I realized a man rushing towards with something black in his hand .. is it a gun?? “ bhai saab photo khichani hai kya?” …. Photo?? Ohh it’s a Polaroid camera .. the one which gives you instantaneous photos … “ nahi nahi” she replied even before I was trying to register what did he really want from me … “well… haan lenge… lets take a pic na plzzz”( what the hell … im sure it was one of her most embarrassing moments) …. “ what are you crazy … im not taking a picture” … “aare plzz just one yaar .. for our first meeting( im being a loser again)” … “nahi yaar this is so cheap”… “ aare nothing ya ..haan bhaiya le lo” …..before she could react I was already holding her tight with my left hand and posing in front of the gateway of india… “ aare yeh achi nahi hai … ek aur lo” I thought I was wasn’t looking good at all( what difference it makes .its not the photographer s fault anyways!!!) “ you are really mad .. I m not taking any more pics” .. “ aare plz last one .. stand otherwise ill pick you up”( pick you up????? What was that .. I never heard that even in a movie) …. “ I cant believe im doing this” … there came the second picture .. “wow you look really good ya”( I was actually looking at myself) .. “ chalo ho gaya let s go now” … “ aare wait na …. Hey whats that ?? are those boats sailing now?” … “ that is not a boat it’s a ferry ride” …. “ wow lets go na it wont take long plzzzzz” …. “ uff this is too much shounak ..that meant for kids yaar” …… “ no yaar it ll be fun ..i have never been in one plz see its about to leave it’s the last one ya … plz I don’t know whether ill meet you again or no” that was not at all sentimental and sounded so stupid that we both started laughing. .. “ well chalo” I said and both jumped into the ferry for 10 bucks a ticket … sitting on the first floor of that junk ferry boat are two drunk people sitting in the middle of middle aged women with their kids .. ( man where have so many kids come that this time )and only odd people were both of us .. trying to control our laughter in middle of that floating kindergarten… I guess all the aunties were staring at me … maybe even they wanted to throw me out at the earliest opportunity … do they know im drunk or something ? are we smelling ?... “ lets go downstairs na .. bahut boring hai upar” I said looking at a real healthy aunty staring babdly at me .. “ ok” chalo…. Wow!!! To my surprise there was actually no own except that ferry staff on the ground floor of that boat … “lets stand there in the corner” and we moved right at the back of the boat …which the loneliest part of that boat … now the ride seemed really exotic .. it was a dark night ( its generally is in Mumbai) only sound of the waves and yes the kids on the first floor … i could hear and see a chetak helicopter at a distance maybe a navy aircraft doing night flying… “ well you know this has been the best date ever” I broke the silence … “ my previous girlfriend was a real jerk” ….she smiles comes close to me “ im standing here and you still are remembering your ex girlfriend” … I cannot explain in words the expression in her eyes .. if I had a weak heart .. I probably would have had an heart attack ….i cannot forget those eyes … we moved more closer and before I realized our lips had locked .. they were as delicate as petals … everything seemed to have become standstill.. I could no longer hear the children …neither the chopper flying nor the waves … I guess this is what is like being in heaven … oooo…. Whats this I had a strange feeling in my pants .. ok its not what you guys thinking about .. I mean yes that too.. but it was my cell vibrating and ringing … great la bollywood style ..the phone rings at the wrong time .. “ hello dad …ya im still with my coursemate ( that s what I had told the reason to leave home) .. hmm im at colaba .. will take atleast 45 mins more to reach back” … ( look idiot what have you ruined …) ….. “ hey im sorry ..” I thought I had again goofed it all up .. but I was wrong .. that look I mentioned before was still there in her eyes maybe more naughtier now .. I couldn’t keep my hands off her … “ I knew it was you” I whispered in her ear ..( I have no clue what it meant may I wanted to tell her that was it you I had got into the airforce for …I always dreamt about .. always wanted a girlfriend like you .. I really don’t know) but it all seemed perfect now …
The ferry brought us back to the gateway of india… I had walked into the boat having a decent distance from her .. I was getting down all hand in hand …. Things had definitely changed between us in that half an hour …we caught a taxi back home … I even bought a rose ..those really long stem ones they sell at traffic signals ..i know I was embarrassing her but now I didn’t care .. I guess even she didn’t care now ..cause she broke the stem and folded the flower like a bedsheet and kept it in her purse ( I guess she still has it) … anyways I was the one who got down first as my home happened to be on the way first ( what a loser again … should have dropped her first) anyways ..a good bye kiss and a promise to meet tomorrow kept me awake entire night as I recollected every moment I had spend my first date with her ….

The second disaster!!!!!we broke up
The second disaster!!!!!we broke up
“hey when are we meeting today” the first thing I did after I woke up was this sms… “ well don’t know yaar slightly busy in the office today “ …. “ what .. plz do meet na otherwise ill come at your office” ( I had no clue where her office was ) …. “ thik hai baba .. will meet around 0730 ..anyways you don’t know where my office is “ ( I told you she s much smarter than me)… entire day I kept thinking about how am I gonna go about this evening ..no fuck ups this time .. will pay all the bills and yes also drop her home first ….. all set for the evening ..even brought a new deodorant for that … we decided to meet somewhere near to the chowpatty … she told me she knew a good sea facing restaurant there ..but couldn’t remember its name .. but knew the approximate location.. now if she doesn’t know where the place is it’s a real emergency for me to tell the taxi driver where to stop ..so my evening begins with (yet again ) a loser question “ hey tell me where should I tell the taxi driver to take me yaar” … “aare just tell him to take you to chowpatty” … “ aare im already on chowpatty its so big yaar” …. “ what you already reached ?? y so early its still 0700 re” … “ aare you don’t know my parents yaar I have to come out of the house early …coming late ill manage a reason” … I actually had no course mate of mine in Mumbai that time but just an imaginary naval coursemate whose name I was using to step out of the house …. Well she guided me to somewhere near that place where we were supposed to meet .. ‘salt water grill’ the name really appeared exciting to me .. it was a open air restaurant on the beach adjoining the chowpatty .. a real exotic location though it was just off the main road .. so not much silence ..but the location seemed mind blowing .. it was a fully open air place with a wooden stage kind of thing where they had placed wooden tables …. Chiffon transparent curtains separated each table from the other and was beautifully lit by candles in those long glass holders .. in the middle was a sandy open portion where they had placed two or three big hammocks … I guess two people of my size could easily sleep in them .. whether they will be able to hold my weight or no Im not sure .. ahead of that was the sea face which had those sun bath chairs with cushions .. which actually had been made as a sitting arrangement with a small table in between .. you would be facing the sea if you d be lying on them … I decided that we would be sitting there once she arrives … “where are you im already thr” I asked her “aare me in taxi will be thr in 15 mins” came the reply …. There was a water sports outlet or club something next to the restaurant .. kids where all over the place there … and seemed to be quite crowded even though it was turning dark .. I walked further ahead towards the beach .. there was a long bridge jetting into the sea .. it was used as a mounting platform by the water sports club for getting onto those speed boats and water bikes .. looking around I got an beautiful view of the brightly lit Mumbai at dusk … it suddenly started smelling good looking at that view …when i realized that she was standing right behind me .. “ ohh .. hey hi … when did you come .. waise nice perfume” ( what nice perfume!! … what a dog !! she must have thought in her mind I guess) … “ just came ..saw you gazing at the skyline” … “ ohh ya its pretty beautiful .. but not as u look today” ( god I really have to read some good one liner book man and stop seeing shahrukh khan movies) … well she was looking stunning anyways .. wearing that light yellow office shirt and cream trousers she again appeared perfect … I pity the guys working with her .. im sure she would be a real distraction at her work place … anyways appearing to be fully in control this time I directed her towards the restaurant ( forgot that she was the one who had selected the place afterall)… we placed ourselves each on those sun bath chairs with that stupid table in between … well I must say these chairs are really comfortable ..i guess I should one of them in front of my tv … “ so what will you have” I asked … “ hmm let me see” she said picking up the menu .. it had some fancy names for the cocktails they served … “hmm I ll have this one” … I don’t remember what the name was , but reading the contents written below it made it clear it was some vodka based cocktail .. “ hmm so vodka today haan” I asked teasingly… “ don’t wanna go home today kya” …she smiled and replied “ sure we are going to your house after this” ( she knew I didn’t have the balls to take her to my place anyways) … I also ordered something which I couldn’t pronounce but expected to be good ….
I don’t know if it happens with any one else but when I drink everything seems beautiful to me .. and I start noticing minute details of people … I noticed she had a black lining under her eyes and her eyes were carefully worn with a mild makeup which was enhancing her eyes beautifully … “ hey you have amazing eyes” I said finishing my drink , i got up from my chair and shifted onto her s ( ok I was trying to do that for a long time ) … and now both of us were placed on the same chair … for some 10 mins we didn’t speak anything … kept gazing at the sea in front of us .. “ so what now” I broke the silence…. “ what now???” ….i guess my unusually serious tone seemed to fox her … “ I mean what about us now”… I actually wanted to ask what are we gonna do about our relationship ..cause I had just a week left before I left for another course to the far east and which I knew was gonna be jam packed meeting all relatives and stuff … virtually it might have been my last meeting in this leave… “ well nothing about us … nothing can happen between us anyways” …saying this … the only expression she got of me was a wide mouth open … the effect of both the drinks was undone … “ aa well ya I know ..but we can try though” ( I sounded like a desparate sailor trying to save his drowning boat ) .. “ well you really want this to work out .. I don’t think it will yaar” why was she becoming so cynical ?? she was so casual about it … and I wasn’t even out from the previous day s kiss we had…..i didn’t know what to say .. though I was already crying within .. I wanted actually shout my lungs out and say . .. ‘why does it always happen with me’ …. “ waise why will it not work out .. I don’t see any problem” I tried to be calm saying that … “ yaar you are in the air force ..you hardly come home .. your job doesn’t allow you to be there at a place for a long time ,and i really wanna work now ..i cant leave Mumbai as if now yaar … basically we both are living in different worlds all together”….she said calmly and casually …I guess if was possible to look inside my heart this time .. it would have been fully flooded with tears …. “ yaar aisa nahi hai … I come almost twice a year for a month home re and I never said you should not work or something neither im talking about any future plans like marriage n all .. its just that we should be together .. and we ll see how we manage meeting each other n all” I sounded as feeble and weak as a school boy who just had been punished for not having any valid reason for coming late… “ nahi yaar .. don’t think all these things … I m not going anywhere .. we ll be together till the time you are here … but there cannot be a committed relation ship between us re” ….she really confused me saying this .. what did she mean by that we ll be together but wont have any relationship??? Maybe I never had an conversation or intentions like these before… maybe I really was young for her … maybe the lifestyle she lives in ..its a very normal thing …. I really was confused .. I guess I had my next drink in this confusion … I really don’t remember what I ate that day as I was feeling like vomiting now .. ( may be it was because of those tears accumulated in me now ) … we left that place hardly speaking to each other now … and I followed my decision of paying the bill …. She saw that I had turned all white now hearing her ideas .. “ yaar itna kyun soch rahe ho .. forget it .. live life in the present re .. we are together now na ..then why are you thinking so much about the future ??” she said getting into the taxi … “ yaar is it that im in the airforce .. that’s why we cant have a relationship ?? and then why did you meet me in the first place if you wanted to end it this way .. I thought we really had connected and attracted to each other” I sounded a bit rude …. “ shounak” she said holding me in her arms … “ don’t think so much yaar .. I really like you actually love you for what you are … you are a great company to be with … but lets be practical yaar .. how are we gonna manage ourselves ?? I would keep craving to meet you .. to see you .. and I know you are bound by your job .. and same is with me .. I m bound by my job .. I cannot leave it as if now .. .. but we ll be with each other whenever you come down ..also we ll be speaking on phone and all … but planning about a relationship and future is not practical at all yaar” she kept holding my hand tightly … “ I don’t know what to say re .. I thought me being in the airforce had got you speaking to me .. and see what an irony .. the same reason seems to ruin our relation … I have not been in many relationships yaar .. maybe im not practical enough in these aspects of life .. maybe I treat my near and dear ones my friends too special” I said looking straight .. I didn’t wanna look at her …she was the female I really had fallen in love … thought was a dream come true and a perfect girl for me…that I had never had a chemistry with anyone before as I had with her ..that too when we had met just once … things seemed to be magical the previous night and it all seemed perfect .. and now everything was just over like that .. without any reason .. without any hassel … no questions asked ..no answers given … I kept silent for the rest of the journey …kept thinking why is me being the victim of circumstantial reasons everytime and compromising my desires and wants … was I really a loser …was i really being impractical … is this the way all ambitious girls think … I used to think even I was ambitious ..was I ?? do I know what I really I want from life … is it that love and love stories happen only in books and movies …. Will I never have one???... anyways I followed my decision of dropping her home first … I got out to say goodnight ..when she asked .. “ so when are we meeting next”… “ I don’t know … maybe ill leave tomorrow itself”…I said still not looking at her … “ why ..you still have a week to go na?why are leaving tomorrow?” …. I smirked “maybe because I don’t think the way you do .. I believing in doing things which might not work out” …I smiled kissed her hand …got into the waiting taxi and maybe left her forever …….


The person you love ..let her go ..if she comes back she is yours ..if she doesn’t she was never yours !!!!!
Coming back home I felt like being aakash of dil chahta hai!!( role played by aamir khan) when he knows that the girl he loved is leaving him forever (preity zinta) .. even felt being a part of the song ‘tanhanyee’ difference being he was sitting in a cab in Australia and me in a taxi in amchi Mumbai … anyways la dil chahta hai style I decided to leave Mumbai the very next day ..difference being aakash had left australia to get his girl and I was leaving cause the girl didn’t want me ..or may be didn’t see any future with me … on being asked me why was I going back so soon .. I gave my parents a lame excuse of some service aircraft getting rescheduled ... actually I really wanted to run away somewhere … I even couldn’t drink in front of my parents … well without much delay I was off to the east again bagdogra for my conversion course on the helicopter I was supposed to fly at mohanbari ( my posting place) …. I was least interested the course and somehow just had those two memorable evenings at the back of my mind … I had changed my phone number so any possibility of she calling me also was ruled out .. I used to drink every single day I had landed up there .. i believe being devdas was the only option left with me in my miserable life… I really don’t know which day it was and with whom I was sitting in the bar .. when a course mate said casually “ yaar see..there is no point thinking about it again and again .. cause you are thinking from only your point of view .. try and think from her point of view also na …” I don’t know what he wanted to convey but yess…. Well!!! So true I had never realized this before .. I had never thought about her.. .her life .. her job .. her wants … I was only bothered about my convience …she should meet me when I m on leave .. she should be free only when I want her to be … and this advice of my friend .. ( I guess he spoke what I wanted to listen from a long time) got me really thinking … she never said I wanna break up or something .. she never said I ll never meet you n all… she only said there cannot be a future between us .. and that I guess means that we can never be married .. well who wanted to marry anyways !!!.. I was just 23 yaar .. and who knows what the future holds in store .. maybe we should just be as we are .. as long as we are together and having a nice time .. how does it matter whether we marry or not .. cause thinking about the future actually isn’t worth spoiling your present for….. and what was it that I was expecting from her anyways?? She was ready to meet me .. she was the perfect company to spend time with … then what the hell was the problem … I smiled to myself finished the last drink and decided to get back to this girl who actually was so damn right in her place … she was practical and not being sentimental .. not having any expectations from me .. ready to be in my company ….then why was I being such a drag by expecting a commitment for the future from her ( that’s what girls are supposed to do) and getting all sentimental about it … I decided to get back to my lost love .. actually it wasn’t lost .. I had run away from it … c on shounak you should not let her go … be with her … no matter what happens … who knows one day she ll start loving you the way you love her and would be ready to leave the world for you … its you who should express your love freely no matter what she thinks or she wants .. it s you should love her unconditionally … I guess that’s what true love is … no conditions apply!!!!! And then who knows what the future holds for you .. we are not even sure what is gonna happen tomorrow.. so why think about commitment , marriage and things which are beyond our scope….
I decided to give her a call finally after almost not talking to her for 03 weeks now .. but I wasn’t gonna make so easy … I surely had to do something special to make her realize that I still was there for her … I decided to write a poem for her … yes!!! I wrote a poem for her .. I had a very unsuccessful past of writing things especially romantic for girls but nevertheless I decided ill read it out to her ..
“hello” I was hearing this voice after almost a month ,,,
“ SO FAR SO GOOD...
>
> My life was filled with no aim and lies,
> busy days n unenjoyable skies .
> I ran from my small problems ,
> and hid my loneliness,
> i ran and ran.
> i never found my fear ,
> but still made everyone cheer.
> hid my tears and still found no one so near.
> i always expressed love ,
> but never found the right dove.
> everything was so black and white ,
> my life was nothing but a mere fight.
> until i met u,
> the internet made it happen so fast ,
> coz i didnt want to reach the last .
> your angel voice mesmerised my existence ,
> helped me forget my past grievences.
> the day i met u and looked in ur eyes,
> i knew where i belong.. away from the routine and
> all
> ties...
> i thought those are the eyes where i stay,
> every night and every day... never wanting go away.
> but i realized its a fool's paradise ..
> so wat u are my life s most beautiful surprise.
> i ve always learnt to chase the sunshine .. but i
> know
> U NEVER CAN BE MINE ...
> but still you continue to be the one whom i hurt
> and
> pain ..
> and u always r ready to take the blame .
> i help u with nothing and have nothing to gain ..
> but still pursue to be a part of this game.
> i m still very afraid maybe to lose evrything ..
> wen even though id lose only a person..
> NEHA u are my hope , my joy ,, my safe place away..
> i jus wanted you to know..
> yours BABYs thoughts have changed today and
> I LOVE YOU is all i ve tried to say.. “

I finished reading it out to her…. “ don’t tell me you wrote it”…. “ aa well surprisingly I did write it sweety … look im sorry for being such a drag yaar … you were right ..as long as we are enjoying each others company why should think about the future .. if it has to work out it will..” I said in the most apologetic tone … “ acha!!! (she must have smiled) toh aaj ek mahine baad realize ho raha hai ki I was right haan … and all the natak you did of running away n all …. You are a big nautanki I must say … anyways if I say I m not interested in you now then?” she asked teasingly …. “hmm then ..have you seen dil chahta hai?? Ill end up at your marriage just like aamir khan did and hold your hand and say this poem again” I replied confidently( pretty smart answer i guess) …. “acha .. she I told you are a big nautanki…anyways where the hell are you and when are coming down next” ….. and we were back to normal …. Thank god we were talking normally now !!!!......I told u na she was perfect for me …. Every time I spoke to her … she spoke in that carefree.. .practical tone which I had fallen in love with by now … where do we get girlfriends like this … I could never ask for more … how foolish I was leaving her and running away….. anyways we were back to our old routine of speaking in the afternoons after my classes and latenights till one of us didn’t drop dead sleeping….
I completed yet another course successfully ( well dont ask me my grading) and was given another leave before I could join my unit in the far east …another leave meant another opportunity to meet her again … my parents were luckily in Mumbai that time and decided to give them a surprise by landing up without notice .. actually wanted to meet her and then go home … I got a lift in a service aircraft till mumbai … i landed up in the early evening .. we had decided to meet first then go home……
Not just jazz by the bay!!!!!