NATIONS UNIES
So there I was at my first operational unit in the far east leading a varying lifestyle as the weather … ok wat does that mean .. well yes it was a varying lifestyle as somedays I was doing nothing ..n wen I mean NOTHING it even lead to making movies on my Motorola cell showing the empty crew room of sitting all alone ..basically all pilots wud be busy lifting the loads of the deprived ppl of the north east n I wud be putting my load on that poor old sofa in the crew room .. (well I guess even the spring gave up b coz of me sittin ..sometimes sleepin on it)… So there I was making movies of myself all alone in the crew room on days …and at be extremely “involved” in deciding the “entertainment” programme for the evening “theme”party …ok ok ..one of my achievement if I may call it was being the ‘entertainment Oi/c’ for this hot shot operational unit in a mere short span of 3 months …(believe me it’s a big appointment in the IAF) ….Getting back …planning parties only didn’t keep me busy there …there were also activites like making music folders (ok for the same party) …hmm …planning my leave … browsing the internet …..chatting on phone ..(remember I had a gf then) …hmm gulping tht extra small cup of tea every 2hrs hmmm.... wats missing …ohh yes of course FLYING !!!!! that’s wat I have been employed for right … well… I actually was on an identity crisis of why was I getting paid for… anyways …who would nt mind getting paid the 6th pay commission scale n actually be in a situation wer he wonders why is he getting paid for….
Well!!! Let me not mislead u any more ..this happiness of mine was short lived as the wise say “it’s a wheel of life…n change is the inevitable way of life” …( is there a quote like this??) my operational flying finally started ( ok tht has failing twice in my proficiency exams … having attitude problems n ego tassels with my superiors …n of course being branded as a “bhand” tht means a ‘entertainer’ or maybe ‘asshole’ ) and no time I was one of those ppl I described earlier ..i was one of them liftin the ‘load’… anyways this was the time I was all steady with neha…remember her right …. We had our love story extended so far that we actually were engaged ..ok ok tht involves a hellva of ego clashes ….. discussions or maybe arguments on the smallest of the details on this planet … there wasn’t a topic in this universe we had not had our disagreement on …anyways we till carried on … we even fought once on wat priety zinta wore in a freaking song …. Anyways we sure did carry on … it’s the ‘spark’ as romantic novelist s say tht kept us together I guess… I loved the fact tht she didn’t care to hoots weather I was a pilot or a peon in the airforce for that matter as I always love to say .. it’s the airforce that got us together but it’s the airforce that was gonna be the biggest pain in the ass in our intentions of staying together… anyways .. n as far I m concerned ..i still have no damn idea as too wat is she employed to do ..all I know is NEHA IS AN INVESTMENT BANKER … wow …tht atleast sounds great… But one of the biggest questions that was on every damn persons mind who knew aour unusal relationship was…HOW R U GONNA MANGE AFTER MARRIAGE? Ok now …I still don’t know watt ht ‘manage’ means ..n except me everyone seems to be bothered about it ..so much so tht my gather in law has to open all his conversations wit me wit this Unanswerable …thoughtful….. taunting(maybe) question … N get get answered wit a witty answer like.. ‘hmm …lets c … IT ALL DEPENDS ON HER’ … now thts a confusing answer for a taunting question ..haha… anyways my instructor once said ..if u cant convince someone …confuse them….n well I was taking his advice seriously… But u forgot one thing …SHE wud be seating rite there staring at me wit those man eating eyes … n I knew my evening was done wit just CONVINCING her on wat I meant to say … ( well wat did I mean to say anyways)
As we neared our D day … it was time we took the most convincing decision … ok I wud ask for a posting to Mumbai ..if I get it allz is wellzz… n if not ..i stay away from her ..Ok ..now this was a stone hearted decision especially for ME ..yes ME ..i have no idea why I had convinced myself tht ill definitely be OK ..or maybe GREAT living a forced bachlear ( believe me it has its own advantages) …anyways but I had to make Mumbai happen for me .. it was one in a million maybe chances that I wud have gone thr…. N guess wat I did get posted to Mumbai ..n that too 2 months before the D day … life couldnot have be better for me …
I was going to Mumabi… getting married to the girl of my dreams … I even was ok with tht preity zinta dress also I guess.. guess wat I was getting to fly too…. Luguage all packed moving out on Sunday …wen on the fateful Wednesday …the elite select list of the personnel selected for the United missions to Congo (Africa) comes out …Flt Lt shounak is among the so called l
ucky basterds selected to go to Africa in june… wait….. JUNE!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day to make my speech

Finally the day has arrived when I have to make my farewell speech …hmm let me tell you guys this moment is one of those classic ones of having ‘mixed’ feelings ..truly I guess Im ‘happy’ that im moving out and about to explore new horizons but at the same time a sense of ‘sadness’ prevails as ill leave behind one of the most beautiful places both scenically and also in terms of the so called ‘crowd’ I was a part of here ..well!!! it never was a crowd for me here …. I believe each and every person standing here with me or ever stood with me in the past 3 yrs has been extremely significant in his own ways...well!!! since its MY day today and you guys have no option but to listen to me till I disgust the hell out of you let me tell you what magic this stay has done for me ….

When I was a 1^st termer in NDA and had accepted a miserable way of leading life due the virtue being a ‘junior’ I used to think a 3^rd termer has all the fun .thats a stage may be ill start enjoyin life !! .. when I became a 3^rd termer and life seemed to go at the same miserable pace.. I thought well I guess when I become a 4^th termer and start getting ‘senior’ priviliges will be the time when the times will start getting better .. well nothing changed in 4^th term… I guess a 6^th termer the seniormost is the “king’” of the academy and life is a bed of roses thereafter .. believe me I passed out thinking let me become a ‘officer’ ill show them how to live life.!!!!! And history repeated itself ..till I got thrown to this corner of the country … In all this bargain what had I missed …well yess … In thinking and planning to ‘enjoy’ in the future just on the mere fact that I would be a ‘senior’ or maybe later I would have more ‘power’ I had lost OUT ON MY PRESENT .., I had forgotten to live my life in the present … I had wasted my time thinking of a better tommorrow and lost out my crucial youth days to live life king size… untill I came here….

I came as a underconfident, sheepish BOY .. I had the look of a fresh teenager out of college looking for a job with his not so good resume… a BOY who had no idea of dealing with his MEN .. a BOY who maybe professionally good but a body language which radiated nothing but underconfidence…a boy who had no clue of his own strengths and weakness ….a boy with a look that a deer has when it is about to pounced by a raging tiger …well !!! today I have become that TIGER …yesss I have !!!! and it isnt b coz I made it happen its b coz officers like you groomed me … each and every TIGER present in this unit influenced me …. I would have drowned in my miserable inferiority complex .. but the TIGERS pulled me out …transformed me from a immatured teenager BOY .. to a matured BOY .. to a full grown MAN ..an aggressive TIGER !!!!

Well most of those unsung heros in my life may not interact with me ever but the spirit instilled in me will never die !!!have made me realize that yes IM THE BEST …. I have started living life in the present here!!!! I have realised the significance of living with ur peers..the basic aspect of looking at the ‘silver lining’ in any god forsaken situation.. ..of respecting friendship ….of Achieving highest professional standards …of competing with no one but YOURSELF first .. of the significance of SELF RESPECT , n finally the NEVER DIE spirit …I m not sure whether I performed my tasks to the standards that were expected of me but yes I can surely say one thing I have learnt… to give in my BEST ….i on many but one have disappointed my seniors … my juniors … my men under me .. and I take this oppurtunity to apologize to each n everyone of them whether present here or not … I promise to take the lessons learnt back home ...

Needless to say that ill always be there for all TIGERS today ..tommorrow and forever …

Thank u …n keep the faith!!!!

ONCE A TIGER ALWAYS A TIGER !!!!

ITS ALL ABT THE HEART!!!!

Sitting in the bar ALONE … yes alone !!!! im rightin this blog … its one of the most memorable days of my stay in this jungle that im sittin alone here in this stingy corner ,with no one to CRIB along with .. well!! Yes thts wat we pilots in the airforce do rite .. crib…. Crib n crib.. abt the service as to how low waged we are … no OFFICER like rooms available … ..crib abt the senior hierarchy .. “ as the airforce seems to have gone to the dogs” wen will some good leader come and change the freaking things here .. when will we get leave… wen we want .. wen will we be posted to the places of our desires ..n so on n so forth …

In a way it was better sitting alone and be away from the normal crib session tht follows in this sacred place called the BAR …well yes I call it sacred … coz long ago a CO told me .. “ yaar bar is a mandir ..go thr n worship every nite ..it ll solve all your problems” .. how very true .. alcohol does solve our problems or maybe DISSOLVES them atleast!!!! Hmm !!! so sitting alone I did the most weird thing one can do in the bar .. switch on the TV n tune it to a popular HINDI movie channel … n there was shahrukh khan walkin his way on the screen n preaching his usual “ Anjali ..hamesha apne Dil ki sunah … dimag ki nahi” … n believe it or not I actually start pondering on this most unwanted ..cheesy dialogue … well yeah!!! I realize no matter wat happens… in times of decision making .. there are two types of people in this world ..one who follow their brains… n second who follow their heart .. wow!!! Wer do I stand … pondering more wit the third peg of my scotch ( well yes I only have scotch now a days courtesy the 6^th pay commission) I proudly belong to the latter lot of people .. when was the last time I took a logical decision exercising my BRAIN …. which mattered to me the most .. a decision that could change my life forever … NEVER!!!!!

1. I joined NDA seeing TOPGUN and desired to be the next maverick riding my bike through the streets wit all chicks ready to kiss me at one glance.. well I don’t know whether I became maverick or not but yeah .. tht institution transformed me into a man … a man who could now appreciate the finer details of our miserable world… n man who could understand the meaning of terms like ..LOYALTY …INTEGRITY …. CAMRADERIE … FRIENDSHIP….lookin back all I can say is its all abt the heart !!!!!

2. Sitting in the big hall waiting for the decision … as to wat was decided for me … was I a better option for becoming a TRANSPORT pilot or a CHOPPER pilot ..( well I was rejected from becoming a fighter pilot due to reasons only two people know ..god n my instructor!!!) I was alloated the elite transport stream … though I had got wat I wanted as I had opted for the same … I realized that all my FRIENDS( coursemates) whom I was close with in the academy had suddenly (ALL of them )got choppers and were gonna leave me forever .. today wen look back I still don’t know what had gone through my mind or wat was I thinking when I raised my hand in front of the chief flying instructor ( a persona who was capable enough to make u piss in ur pants) asking for a change of stream … “ well son y are u askin for a change .. when you have got what u had opted?” ..well!! yes …I had got wat I had opted … but how could I say tht ..” sir my all my friends are goin t o choppers and I ll never be able to meet them ever” I kept quiet … n after a 10 sec pause …” well sir … I have changed my mind in the past 1 week after I had given my options .. I really wanna go n fly the choppers” …what the hell!!!! I actually said that ..this could have the most unimaginable repercussions for me .. I could have been thrown out of the hall … looked down for being an indecisive idiot … my instructor would have hated me through out his life ……... the same FRIENDS I was running after were all lookin at me wit an unimaginable n non descriptive expression by now … … n guess wat … the CFI just smirked ……..today I have completed 4 yrs in the helicopter stream … today again as I look back … I m not in touch wit anyone of those so called friends I was scared of losing… but then at that time they meant the world to me … after all its all abt the heart !!!!

Before I continue with my not so interesting airforce lifestyle or maybe my so called career in the force , which I was so very looking forward to,I d dedicate my next blog to the person who made me realize the importance of the “human touch”( don’t worry the story shall continue). The time I stepped into the NDA or maybe much before that I had come across a wide spectrum of officers from the defence services and when I made the decision to be a part of them , I had to find my role model , now you must be wondering what the hell that means , let me explain . whenever we decide to do something new maybe learn a new game ,start studying a new subject , decide our careers etc … thr s always generally a certain plan or maybe a goal we intend to achieve or want to follow or maybe sometimes its just a person we have seen doing it and who has influenzed us so drastically that we make the decision to be like him or maybe beat him …being like him !!!..now that’s a confused statement right!!!! But the reality is… to beat someone you first have to become like him, and when it comes to me for those who still don’t know me , it has to be something filmy … well !!! yes I always done things looking at superhero s ..if someone had to ask me what I wanted to become when I grow up I d answer popeye the sailor ..till 4th standard ..then batman ( as he gets to kiss all the chicks) till abt 8th standard and then of course wanted to be “maverick” and be that hot rod fighter pilot driving chicks crazy with those charismatic looks. Well I had to wake up someday and yes I woke up in the academy ….. life was miserable … life sucked big time… .with that jarhead haircut … always hungry look on my face and that dried up body structure which is inevitable …I started behaving like a remote controlled car being controlled by some external force which was far beyond my control. My aims .. dreams… aspirations were controlled by my superior cadets.. officers … institution and the organization .. I was getting groomed to become a tiger but not at freewill but at the will of my countless ringmasters. My future , I thought was being dreamt by some else… NO ONE ASKED WHAT I WANTED … yes … it was my choice to be there and become ‘maverick’ but not a ‘slave’ ….i woke up…. And realized that there were no mavericks around but only two kind of people .. one who gave orders and the second who took them … was there no one around whom I could follow?? Well!!! To my surprise I actually found none…. All I got was the so called class A gazetted officers dressed up in their well ironed crispy uniforms but slowly dying within … though highly motivated to serve their nation .. to perform better … to set highest standards of discipline and service but slowly forgetting how to live .. forgetting that person within them .. I came across officers trained and groomed to become the chief of air staff but at the cost of losing their identity … at the cost of forgetting the simplest virtues of friendship …. Loyalty and trust … officers who had won battles on the field but were losing that ‘ human touch’ . its said that an an officer is the highest example of being a leader . well!! Leader of what ??? is leading into war the only quality that qualifies him to be a good leader ??? let me give you some statistics … in its 60 years of independence India has seen majorly five wars 1948, 1962, 1969, 1971 and 1999 .. rest of the 55 years the country is supposed to be in the state of ‘peace’ and in maintaining this peace the armed forces are tasked on daily biases … so how do you keep those million men motivated ?? only by giving them a boot up their arses and saying you are not entitled to think like a person (a human being)when you take any decision and keep pushing them to their limits till they reach their elastic limit??? To except them to give their lives on your one word of command without asking any questions… welll let me tell you THEY WILL DO THAT…. All that is required is that one ‘human touch’.
Though in the academy you don’t much interact with the officer class … we only get carried away only by the superficial glittery … the number of medals.. commendations .. places fought in and the impeccable record set by our supposingly role models…. its only when you join the clan you realize the rules of the game … well!!! Yes then I got commissioned and entered the elite tribe of being an OFFICER… proud of my newly adorned uniform and stepping into a operational scenario I desperately started looking for “my man” .. ( don’t take the literal meaning) there was this big group of well experienced superiors all around me … stories were told .. some good some bad .. all seem to have something to share … but somewhere I started to realize that in that all so called glittery of being experienced and rising up in service … they all were just crabs …though walking sidewards but having their eyes on an aim altogether in a different direction….there were all multifaceted… on ground .. in air … in briefing hall… in their homes …the same person had so many faces … but I failed to find that human face of theirs .. everything was becoming a race for them .. race not do better for himself but to beat someone else… race not rise in ranks but to avoid someone else getting it .. I found them all competing with one another …BUT NO ONE WHO WAS COMPETING WITH HIMSELF ….. they all were exceptional professionals but in that bargain of beating everyone around had forgotten that they also were individuals … I saw them following blindly aims and goals which im not sure got them anything but materialistic pleasures…..till the time he came around….